Contrast

All right.  I made a decision today while I was walking to the grocery store.  Do you want to know what it is?

I’ll assume you do, or at least have a passing interest, since you’re reading this.

I’m going to start updating this blog on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.  No matter where I am, or what is happening, or whether or not I feel inspired.  I’ve been pushing this project to the back of my mind for weeks now, assuming that I’ll get around to writing whenever the spirit moves me.  Well, the spirit is a fickle lady who’s easily dissuaded by how tired I am or how much other stuff I have to do.  I want to keep writing.  I want you to keep reading.  For those things to happen, I need to make myself a rule.  Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays.

We are learning what real life and real cohabitation feel like.  The apartment is messy.  While Faramir was in the hospital, the apartment was almost never messy, and not only because he wasn’t here.  Back then, I didn’t have the time or the inclination to use most of the space.  I came home from work, cooked, went to the hospital, came home, cleaned the kitchen, and went to bed.  On weekends, I cleaned everything else.  Now life is happening here; and life, as it turns out, is messy.  There’s clutter lying around.  There are ants who don’t know that the Internet says they don’t like vinegar and bay leaves, and keep crawling around regardless (I tried yelling at them, too).  A few months ago, every spare moment I had was spent scrubbing this place; now it’s a place where people live.  Now it, and we, can breathe a little.

Way back in July, a dear friend came to visit and help me out.  I remember talking to her about how strange it was to think that in four months, or six months, or a year, I would have a completely different perspective on Faramir’s illness and our lives together than I did then.  In response, she shared a piece of wisdom with me: “We know what we know by contrast.”

We know what we know by contrast.

Until Tuesday (I mean it),

Brynhildr

P.S.  Can you tell I spent the whole day cleaning?  It occurs to me, upon re-reading this post, that I didn’t quite make it clear how completely over-the-moon god-damn happy Faramir and I are to be together every day.  Life is certainly messy, but it’s also joyful and hilarious.  Just wanted to make sure that was understood.

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